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A certain C-n-table

Sure some unauspicious cross-grain’d Planet, in Opposition to Venus, presides over the Affairs of Love about this Time. For we hear, that on Tuesday last, a certain C-n-table having made an Agreement with a neighbouring Female, to Watch with her that Night; she promised to leave a Window open for him to come in at; but he going his Rounds in the dark, unluckily mistook the Window, and got into a Room where another Woman was in bed, and her Husband it seems lying on a Couch not far distant. The good Woman perceiving presently by the extraordinary Fondness of her Bedfellow that it could not possibly be her Husband, made so much Disturbance as to wake the good Man; who finding somebody had got into his Place without his Leave, began to lay about him unmercifully; and ’twas thought, that had not our poor mistaken Galant, call’d out manfully for Help (as if he were commanding Assistance in the King’s Name) and thereby raised the Family, he would have stood no more Chance for his Life between the Wife and Husband, than a captive L —— between two Thumb Nails.

The Pennsylvania Gazette, June 24, 1731